My Brother and his Starbursts

Ok, I just read my brother's blog and couldn't stop laughing. The poor guy was really upset and you just have to read about what he did! Click here to find out...

OOPS! Forgot that their blog is set to private. So, I just copied it and pasted it below. Thanks Eirian for sharing it! :)



I wanted to share this email that Johnny wrote the manufacturer of Starbursts a while back because I truly laughed for days about it and I think it could be a great SNL monologue.


From: johnnyXXXXXX@hotmail.com
To: askus@masterfoodsusa.com

Subject: Starburst Severely Disappoints


To whom it may concern:

I recently purchased a bag of Starburst original fruit chews and after reaching into the bag blindly for the first 8-10 times and pulling out nothing but lemon or orange chews, I grew suspicious and decided to empty out the contents and tally up exactly how many pieces of each flavor there were remaining. To start, as I just said, I pulled out and ate about 8-10 pieces of either lemon or orange Starburst, no other flavor. I emptied the bag and there were 31 remaining pieces of candy. Here is what was in the bag: 13 pieces of Lemon Starburst, 12 pieces of Orange Starburst, 3 pieces of Cherry Starburst, and 1 (yes, only one) piece of Strawberry Starburst. Meaning in the ENTIRE BAG of Starburst I purchased, there was 4 pieces of Starburst that WERE NOT LEMON OR ORANGE.... Sorry but that is just plain unacceptable. ONE PIECE OF STRAWBERRY? Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a joke, so I seriously asked my wife if she planted the bag. She is adamant she didn't and of course I believe her. Three pieces of cherry? Wow, I can't even tell you how dissappointed I was, especially since Cherry and Strawberry are my favorite flavors. What does your "STARBURST research" show as the most popular flavor? I doubt it is lemon or orange. I'm not saying I don't like those flavors, but I am saying if I could pick between those or cherry/strawberry, 10/10 times I'd pick the latter. Maybe there's economics behind it, maybe it wasn't a mistake, maybe Strawberry/Cherry artificial flavoring are more expensive than lemon or orange. My favorite thing is that you don't even show a lemon piece of candy on the package. It's 1 strawberry, 2 Cherry, and 1 Orange. Trying to sell cherry? Good ol' bait and switch. Nice work. You fooled me. The thing is, although I've never counted before, my memory tells me that this isn't a one time thing. I should know better since I eat more Starburst than I care to admit. Although that might change. Mamba's aren't bad, and they give me a proper ratio of all flavors... Please fix this.

Starburst lover on hold, Johnny J

Please feel free to email me back and ask any questions you want. I'd send you the Best Before Date and the other number below it, but it's smeared and fairly unreadable. Maybe while you're at it you should fix that machine also. It looks like it say 08/2009 (but like I said I can't really tell),the other number is 8182AWA??3, but the only ones I know 100% is the 81 at the beginning...I will save the bag, I can mail it to you if you want and you can see if you can read what it says. I've got it right here in my drawer.

Another trip to the Lonely Marines Wives Club

So, I know, I've been a really bad blogger and it's been awhile since I've posted. I've got tons of good excuses, which I know all of you can relate to. Well, there's one excuse that maybe only a few of you will really get, my fellow military wives, whose husbands are always gone.
Scott's gotten to that point where deployment is getting closer and closer and there are more things for him to take care of, to fix, to plan for, marines to train, to discipline, etc., which means more time at work and less at home. He's been putting in 14 to 16 hour work days (Monday thru Friday) giving him enough time to come home and sleep- barely. And those are the weeks that he's in garrison (in the office and not in the field). When he's in the field he's gone for days at a time. Most recently he left for 29 Palms, a vast desert of dirt and mountains, to train for a full five weeks.
I'm not writing all of this to complain, believe me, I had full knowledge of what I was getting into when I married Scott, even though I swore I was done with long-distance relationships!! Ha, God really does have a sense of humor. When I was younger I was in a serious relationship where a majority of it was all long distance. I remember praying about that relationship and if it was something I should stay in and if I should wait for this guy to come home, and I always got the answer to wait. I've always wondered why I kept getting that answer, especially since in the end the relationship didn't work out. So, besides the fact that I did met the man of my dreams and things all worked out for the best (Yay!), I think the Lord had another lesson for me to learn through all that. During this previous relationship, the guy I was waiting for was serving a mission for our church and the only way we could communicate was through letters because it was against the mission rules for him to call home (except for Christmas and Mother's Day). I was a good girlfriend and wrote him letters several times a week, sent packages, and tried to keep him in the loop of my life while he was gone. This covered a space of two full years.
Recently I've been trying to mentally prepare for Scott's deployment to Afghanistan. He's going to be part of the "Spring Surge" going into an area that hasn't been occupied by UN troops. Meaning: he will have no internet access, no phone access, and the only time letters will be delivered/picked up is when they are in need of food/ammo (due to the high threat of IED's on any vehicle transport). Scott is my best friend, my other half, and as many military wives who have survived a deployment know, having that link of communication is what keeps you going. It's what you live for, what you wake up in the morning for, what keeps life some what sane. Hearing Scott's voice is the one thing that is guaranteed to make everything instantly ok. I never thought (especially with all the high tech advances) that my only form of communication with my husband would be through letters. It's funny that I'm now actually thankful that I was in that previous relationship where all I did was write letters. It kinda makes this deployment easier to face cause I know I already "survived" this before (well, except for now it's my Husband, not a boyfriend, and he's going to be in a full on war zone with real ammo being shot at him, and not in a friendly, non-threatening country like Finland- Haha, gotta love reality.)
I'm grateful to know that the Lord is watching over me and always has. I'm so humbled to have this knowledge that He has given me previous guidance and experiences to help when I am faced with harder challenges. I know the challenges haven't really started yet. Scott's training schedule at 29 Palms has been brutal and there's little cell reception, but over the past week and half he's been gone we've been able to talk a couple of minutes here and there. It'll be interesting to see how the kids and I (and Scott!) survive this upcoming deployment. I'm just so thankful to have the gospel in my life and the knowledge that I can and will always be able to turn to the Lord whenever I need to. In the meantime, I'll be another member of the Lonely Marines Wives Club.