My Brother and his Starbursts

Ok, I just read my brother's blog and couldn't stop laughing. The poor guy was really upset and you just have to read about what he did! Click here to find out...

OOPS! Forgot that their blog is set to private. So, I just copied it and pasted it below. Thanks Eirian for sharing it! :)



I wanted to share this email that Johnny wrote the manufacturer of Starbursts a while back because I truly laughed for days about it and I think it could be a great SNL monologue.


From: johnnyXXXXXX@hotmail.com
To: askus@masterfoodsusa.com

Subject: Starburst Severely Disappoints


To whom it may concern:

I recently purchased a bag of Starburst original fruit chews and after reaching into the bag blindly for the first 8-10 times and pulling out nothing but lemon or orange chews, I grew suspicious and decided to empty out the contents and tally up exactly how many pieces of each flavor there were remaining. To start, as I just said, I pulled out and ate about 8-10 pieces of either lemon or orange Starburst, no other flavor. I emptied the bag and there were 31 remaining pieces of candy. Here is what was in the bag: 13 pieces of Lemon Starburst, 12 pieces of Orange Starburst, 3 pieces of Cherry Starburst, and 1 (yes, only one) piece of Strawberry Starburst. Meaning in the ENTIRE BAG of Starburst I purchased, there was 4 pieces of Starburst that WERE NOT LEMON OR ORANGE.... Sorry but that is just plain unacceptable. ONE PIECE OF STRAWBERRY? Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a joke, so I seriously asked my wife if she planted the bag. She is adamant she didn't and of course I believe her. Three pieces of cherry? Wow, I can't even tell you how dissappointed I was, especially since Cherry and Strawberry are my favorite flavors. What does your "STARBURST research" show as the most popular flavor? I doubt it is lemon or orange. I'm not saying I don't like those flavors, but I am saying if I could pick between those or cherry/strawberry, 10/10 times I'd pick the latter. Maybe there's economics behind it, maybe it wasn't a mistake, maybe Strawberry/Cherry artificial flavoring are more expensive than lemon or orange. My favorite thing is that you don't even show a lemon piece of candy on the package. It's 1 strawberry, 2 Cherry, and 1 Orange. Trying to sell cherry? Good ol' bait and switch. Nice work. You fooled me. The thing is, although I've never counted before, my memory tells me that this isn't a one time thing. I should know better since I eat more Starburst than I care to admit. Although that might change. Mamba's aren't bad, and they give me a proper ratio of all flavors... Please fix this.

Starburst lover on hold, Johnny J

Please feel free to email me back and ask any questions you want. I'd send you the Best Before Date and the other number below it, but it's smeared and fairly unreadable. Maybe while you're at it you should fix that machine also. It looks like it say 08/2009 (but like I said I can't really tell),the other number is 8182AWA??3, but the only ones I know 100% is the 81 at the beginning...I will save the bag, I can mail it to you if you want and you can see if you can read what it says. I've got it right here in my drawer.